New Girls With Attitude episodes coming soon

Got my niece here so we're gonna film some new epsiodes for Girls With Attitude (Click me). We've not been able to do any in a while because she's not been able to stay over with us being busy and my sister has been really ill with swine flu. So we're gonna start filming today and hopefully we'll get about three episodes filmed so I can post them each week as I don't know when she'll be here next.

I Slept With Santa!

Merry Christmas!

For more visit http://www.youtube.com/love4musicuk

Funny Christmas Video!!!

Got a funny Christmas video coming up. I'm hoping to film it tomorrow and get it edited and upload the same day. The song is recorded and edited (Santa Baby)so just got to do the video. For now though check out my other videos at http://www.youtube.com/love4musicuk


Jay
-x-

Announcement from Samantha

Birthday

It's my birthday in 2 days (November 13th)and I'll be 24! Yep, that's on a Friday and my name is Jason...spooky eh? Don't worry though, I'm not some maniac with a machete! It doesn't seem so long ago that I turned 23. Where does time go these days?

I've already been asked what I'd like as a present but I don't really know, cause the things that I want are out after my brithday like for example Leona Lewis's new Album - Echo, Harry Potter and The Half Blood Price, Transformers 2, Tinkerbell And The Lost Treasure (don't laugh, they're good films) and erm...G-Force all of which are on Blu Ray...oh and Left 4 Dead 2, but I've already pre-ordered that, so you see my problem?
Might just choose one of those films, most likely Tinkerbell, cause I wont have the money to get that myself just yet...hmmm...

Anyway, I think I'll get back to watching Ugly Betty. It's been ages since I've watched this and I'm starting to catch up on it again. I'm really getting into it too, making me cry a lot, lol.

Well take care anyways :)

Jay
-x-

L.O.V.E

Love, the very thing that's hard to find,
When you have Love, it can be blind
So many just want to find, The thing that we call love
Love is isn't a game of cards, it's matters of the heart.

Love. Where do I start?

Best Halloween party yet!

I really enjoyed myself. Couldn't stop laughing at my niece though, was so funny. She got drunk and was all over the show. She spilt her drink about 10 times that night, and fell into the display to LOL. It was a really good time, and even though I got drunk, which I didn't intend doing, it was awesome! We are SO having another next year, even if I've gotta help out with the cost again :D

Halloween Party

So yeh...on saturday it's the Halloween Party. It's being hosted here at my home, and all my family are attending. We do this every year for my brother, Dave, who died in 2005.
We do it as a celebration and rememberance of his life, and as his birthday is the 30th of October, we do this on Halloween.

It's really fun cause we all dress up, have a laugh, even cry (lol) then we send off Balloons with messages attached to them so he can read them.
I don't know if we'll be having the balloons this year, but it's still going to be a good good night *Starts singing Black Eyed Peas* I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm dressing up as Samantha Perkins (see this link if you don't know who she is) It's gonna be a laugh that's for sure. I can't wait!

Only 4 days to go so I better get the pumpkins carved, and I'm gonna try and do a video for The Fetch Betch Show, but don't know if it's possible.
I'll try it tomorrow but If not then it'll have to wait cause I'm gonna be busy these next few days.

Anyway I shall be going.

Take care

Jay
-x-

The weekend

Heya guys!

So the weekend has begun, and guess what? Mine hasn't been a good start. I woke up this morning with such a bad migraine. I felt really ill, so I had to go back to bed. I woke up then about 4:30 pm. The migraine seems to of eased off, but I still feel it slightly, still not 100%. Hope it's gone properly for tomorrow.

I watched The X Factor tonight, and was impressed with Lucie's performance - talk about flawless. Deffinately her best yet. I've voted for her (as I always do) and also for Stacey. I think Rachel deserves a vote too cause she did well tonight, deffinately her best yet. Who did you guys vote for? I don't know why John and Edward are still in the competition - they can't sing! I can see how they're entertaining, but better singers have gone because of them. I don't really like Olly Murs either - he's just too cocky, and he knows it.

I got my new camcorder battery this morning, the one I payed 81 quid for including postage from Amazon.co.uk! It's expensive but deffinately worth it. The battery life is almost tripple that of my older one (the NP-FH70) so I'm rather pleased. Now I won't have to worry about the battery running out so soon, and I can now also film the Halloween Party that we'll be having next week. Which reminds me: still need to get some pumkins.

The good thing about not being in a relationship were you're going back and forth to and from each others houses is the money you have to spend now you're no longer in it. I've been saving my money, ok I've also spent some too, but never gone into my Overdraft yet, and when I was with my ex I was doing so all the time. It's expensive feeding two people, especially one who doesn't help you pay for the shopping like he should. He said he had "bills" but beginning to wonder if it was more than that. Had a suspicion when I were with him about him smoking, cause his house smelt of cigaratte smoke. He told me it was the smell left over from when his mum and friend smoked, but that seems far fetched. And this is a guy who claims he's "genuine" he's very far from it. He's done nothing but lie to me time and time again. Not to mention the way he treated me. Genuine? No chance. I really do feel sorry for whoever might end up with him next, if anyone.

Anyway I'm going to go and watch the new episode of Dollhouse so I shall see you all later.

Take care

Byeeeee

-x-

Feeling better now

I'm feeling much better after all the crap is over with my relationship. I'm not stressed like I was and I'm sleeping better. I feel like I'm getting a grip on my life again and life is looking more colorful day by day. Word of advice guys: If you ever have a guy say that he loves you when you've never met him before - run. :)

All that needs to improve now is my sleeping pattern. I'm going to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning, and it's doing my head in. I've got a Halloween party coming up (we're having one) so I need to get my sleep sorted for then. Which reminds me...I'm having to buy a new camcorder battery, and I can't believe I'm going to pay 70 quid for one! But ya know, you get what you pay for. I bought one recently off eBay and it turns out it's a fake dud - won't even charge. So as you can imagine I wasn't very happy about it. I've put a claim into Paypal so I'm just waiting on that getting sorted now.

Anyway...I'm busy editing a video right now (one for the Fetch Betch Show) and I'm abouts to watch Ghost Whisperer. The good thing about that program is that it has you crying. I know that sounds mad, but it's a good thing. Crying releases pent up emotion and stress. It's weird that I've not cried, not once with the break up, but a TV show has me crying like like mad, lol. Even Desperate Housewives did! I guess that's what happens when your boyfriend breaks up with you time after time - You become numb to it...

Right well I'm gonna go and watch Ghost Whisperer while this video is rendering (that means saving for those non video editing people)

Take care

Byeeeeeeeee
-x-

Gonna be a busy week video wise

You might not know this but I'm part of a new Collaboration Channel called The Fetch Betch Show(http://www.youtube.com/fetchbetchshow) I play the character called Samantha Perkins for this Show who appears on Fridays. Please check it out, and if you like it then Subscribe :)

I'm going to be busy making videos for The Fetch Betch Show and also for my own Channel (http://www.youtube.com/love4musicuk) so it's going to be a busy week.

I'm also thinking of re-doing my YouTube Channel Design cause I want it to match that of my website, so I might do that too. Now that I have a notebook mouse it'll make using Photoshop much easier and quicker :)

Well I'm gonna go and eat something cause I'm hungry and haven't had breakfast yet.

Byeeee

I have a right to be angry and upset

Do you think if someone loved you that they would treat you so horribly after breaking up over a misunderstanding?

By horribly I mean being so cold like they never had any feelings for you at all, and when they contact you and you reply, they ignore you...seems to me like they can just switch off their so called "Love"

They also make excuses and tell lies, but then say "I Love You" probably thinking it makes it easier knowing that they have hurt you so much and those words make it ok, when they dont. You ask for them to be straight forward and with you and let you know where you stand but they do the opposite and keep stringing you along. Is this Love....really? I don't believe it is.

I have a right to be angry and upset.

Torn

I were out at Asda when i got a weird feeling. People passing you by & you're hurting because the person you love is no longer your special someone...its confusing, not to mention upsetting :'-( Your heart is set on someone else and it makes you think of them. I got upset walking around asda...I don't know what to think anymore with their behaviour...Is there someone else? They say not but it's all so confusing...I think i figured out what makes Them do these things - anger. I think they're holding their anger in causes these outbursts...I know when you're angry you say and do things to hurt people, even those you love, but what we've got is hard to find and it's not worth throwing away over small things...I just feel lost. I never wanted to break up with them, still dont, but it's not my choice... if you read this: I Love You <3

It's Official, I'm Single and i got broke up with via a text message

Yep. After talking on the phone to my now ex partner, when they said they loves me and is heartbroken over what has happened. They went on to say how they want me, loves me and always will...well only minutes after talking they text me saying we've over (how many times i have heard that i do not know) and this time it's because i apparently humiliated 'em - what the fuck? I humiliated THEM? They're the one who acted like an asshole and treated me like crap! Basically because my friends on Facebook had something to say on the subject that they didn't like this is why they've come to this decision this time...pathetic.

My boyfriend broke up with me in a text message

Yeh, it's true. The man who is supposed to 'Love' me and whom i thought the world of has said: this is it in a text message. He said he wont answer the phone, answer texts or answer the door. What kind of person ends it with a text message? I loved this person, spent lots on him for gifts, nights out etc and he breaks up with me in a text message...what kind of person would do this?

Love and Relationships - Dont be Fooled

 Since this Entry, we had made up, but the he broke up with me yet again within minutes after talking to me on the phone : Click here to read more


Ok, so yesterday i text my partner asking why i haven't heard from him, then the reply i get is: Jay. I'm out of this relationship, there's no one else, just not what i want. I should've spoke up last night, but didnt thinking i'd get through how i felt, but have not and will not. If you want a reason then: your fault finding with the way i email or text, or other things you take the wrong way all the time and your mood swings (by this he means that i pick up on something not being ok with him, so i ask him if things are ok -sorry for caring eh?) He actually said things are fine, but just goes to show what i picked up on was correct...And you know how you get moody when you dont sleep? He's refering to that. Which i might add hasn't happened in a while cause im getting sleep, finally, no thanks to him. Continuing the text: Sorry but i cannot cope with this. (seperate text) Not only that but the sexual side I am not Active, im passive though I tried i cannot go against basic nature (He knows this isn't anything to do with it because we've tried other ways and he didn't like it, his words exactly was "it doesnt feel right, it's weird") Continuing the text: also your attitude on the phone was not nice, you were off with me (He's refering to me being upset because he's saying "I love you and Miss you" but then he hardly texts me and ignores emails - Not exactly convincing. And all he had to say was " i didn't think you'd email me at this address" I ALWAYS use that address.) Continuing the text: telling me you werent waiting around etc when the previous night I waited over an hour and a half or more for you to text me back saying when to phone you. Next day you wonder why i never talked, cause i fell asleep waiting, but again you put the fault on me, yeh you appologised last night but it made you moody with me for that 24 hours (I had forgot to text him back because i had my niece here and she were wanting to do some acting, and in doing this i completely forgot. I appologised to him on the phone cause i actually thought it were down to him not calling me, but it were my own fault. And i said i'm not waiting around because the other week i got told he were on a Swinging site, which turned out to be true. He claims it was from before he met me, ok, fine with that, but i also asked him when i talked on the phone if there's someone else, because he seems uninterested in the relationship, and his answer was "no, im not like that" And now this...makes you wonder. And i'm not sure what he means by me being moody for 24 hours cause i wasnt. I were upset for a few hours, but was ok afterwards) Continuing the text: Also that episode with the quilt. I never said anything but i felt like walking home at 3am when it happened. I aint staying with someone who treats me like that. (he's refering to me throwing a quilt over him, which i might add he were laughing and joking about it the night it happened, and a few days later, calling me a drama queen, so what the hell? It's not like i'm violent, like his ex was I have never been violent towards him.) Continuing the text: I wont be answering text, emails or front door. There are many ways to break up with someone and this is mine, and no i aint in touch with Anon or anyone else (Anon was a friend of his who caused alot of trouble for us) Dont read this text as me having an attitude or being angry, its just text, and i am sorry for how things have turned out. I aint changing my mind.(How can i not read it a having an attitude or being angry when it's clearly reads that way? He doesn't get angry, he says...)

I knew this were coming (it's happened 5 or 6 times before) And when it does he does the same thing: deletes me off Facebook, MySpace, YouTube etc - it's like he hates me... and he says I have mood swings and I'm a drama queen. It's like he wants to hurt me but yet when we make up he says he's sorry and that he loves me...it's just words. Actions speak lounder and as this has shown it's TRUE. How can you go from "I love you and miss you lots, goodnight babe" to this? Does he even know what love is. It seems like he likes the idea of having someone to call his boyfriend but when it comes to the relationship he doesnt care who he hurts. All the above just seem to be little things he's trying to find wrong, as he has done before when this has happened, so i ask: what's the real reason? It's been a year this month since we met and he chooses to do this. He has nice timing. He's done this on christmas, too. If he doesn't mean to hurt me then why does he act this way? It's not a nice way to treat someone you're supposed to love.And also he'll just ignore my texts, emails and even me calling at his home, that's nice. But i told him not to worry cause i won't call at his home. I know he has a fear of confrontation, due to his ex beating him, but this is ME, and i'm not like that. I've done nothing but care for him and try my best to make sure he feels comfortable and loved.Not only that but I've bought him a new mobile phone for his birthday that cost me over 100 pound and put me in debt for a while, i've made sure he had a nice birthday, i've bought him the magazines he likes to read, i've payed him into the cinemas numerous times, bought him take away numerous times, payed my mum money to have him stay here tons of times, bought him socks cause the ones he had werent fit for wearing, bought him a christmas present cause none of his family bothered plus other things, and this is how i get repayed....I think it speaks for itself. So the question is: now what? Do i wait and see if he changes his mind (as he always has done in the past) or do i start the journey of moving on? See how it's like he's playing mind games? I have things that he's bought me here in my room but if this is it, it's actually over then i'm going to do what i did with my last boyfriends gifts and burn them...either that or return them to him.I'd also like my things back that he has and he can have the bits of belongings he's left here too. If i dont hear from him in so many days i'm gonna change my mobile number and email address then get on with my life. If something happens in in a relationship that you dont like you're meant to talk about it with your partner, not get upset and break up with them.God, if i were like that i'd be breaking up with him quite alot too. My last text to him said: Do you even care anymore...? We shall see.